First post and birthday thoughts

I like to think I've got something to share that may make your day a little brighter, you a little smarter, or frankly me a little richer. :) I mean I get all these ads telling me how I can make millions writing blog posts, and while I don't believe that any more than I believe Enzyte will work, this is a good place to vent.

Also it's a good place to test out material for my book, that I hope to publish (or better yet find a publisher for). The book is called "Turkeys don't have pink feathers" and is a collection of short, hopefully funny, stories of things that have happened to me over the years. You can get "nopinkturkeys" stuff at my cafepress site (http://www.cafepress.com/nopinkturkeys)

Well I just turned 40 a little while ago and on the 90 minute ride to work decided I would share some tips with my co-workers who were also having birthdays. So the following is a list of the top ten things to remember on your birthday.

10. Before asking where your glasses are, check your face, then your hands, then your pocket. If you don't have glasses, don't worry, either your time is coming or you are so old you forgot you can't see without them and they are already on your face.

9. Be careful what you wish for, someone may over hear you and think you are a freak.

8. Don't pee in the wind, or on a spark plug, electric fence or any other electrical device. Also do not pee on the neighbor's cat, especially if he can see you and is a cop, with a temper.... and a gun.

7. If one of your gifts is a can of peanuts, get someone else to open them. Something is sure to jump out of it and give you a heart attack.

6. It's OK to talk to yourself.... No it's not... yes it is....no.....we talked about this on the ride in, now shut up.... sorry

5. A bird in the hand.... probably will poop, put it back, quickly.

4. If you can't laugh at yourself, don't worry everyone else will laugh for you.

3. Before flushing the toilet, always pull up your pants. The last thing you want when a river of sewerage is coming at you is to have to try and run with your pants around your ankles. This applies everyday, not just birthdays.

2. When blowing out the candles on your cake take care. No one will want the piece with your teeth sticking out of it.

and the number one thing to remember on your birthday....

I forgot. Hey I'm old too.