ten more ways to tell if you are from maine.

10. You’ve used an outhouse and not found it “quaint” or odd.
9. If you have ever traded pelts at Kittery Trading Post for “supplies”
8. If you have ever gotten in a fight over how to split a roadkill moose.
7. If you have ever had to snowshoe to the gas station
6. Going four wheeling and going to town are the same thing
5. You have a favorite brand of chainsaw
4. You have ever raced a skidder
3. You “pop on over” to Canada to use the bathroom
2. You’re car emergency kit contains a shovel, a backup shovel, tow rope, blankets, boots, food, water and one of them new fangled, cell phone thingies

And the number one way to tell you are from maine

You’ve read all of these and thinking ayuh he’s right…..

Top ten ways to tell if you are frome Maine

Top ten signs you could be from Maine
10 You have a gun rack….. in your convertible
9 You ever bought a motor vehicle with rolls of change
8 You can tell the difference between hail, sleet, freezing rain by the sound they make
7 You drive more miles on your tractor than your car
6 You have ever walked through Canada as a shortcut
5 You pronounce Augusta and Bangor like Auguster and Bangah
4 You have ever looked at a license plate to decide which directions to give someone who asks
3 You have more than one spare tire, and a tow rope in your vehicle….just in case
2 You have a spare truck in case your good one gets stuck in the ditch

And the number one way to tell if you are from Maine

You ever sold something you found on the beach to a tourist

Things that make you wonder

If you want to lose twice as much weight, can't you just eat both weight watchers and nutrisystem?

I know stay at home moms have it hard. I mean they do all the housework, cook the food, raise the kids. It really is a full time job. I get it, but why do they get so mad when you give them a performance review?

Sort of makes you wonder.....

“Honey, cheer up, just because you can’t touch your ankles any more at least soon your boobs will”. Even if it's true, don't say it. In fact especially if it's true don't say it.

and one final thought for the day.....

Relationships are hard. Guys, we think we are being helpful but we aren’t. My ex-wife was an animal lover and said she wanted to be buried out back with the pets. Being a nice guy, I decided to surprise her and went out back and dug a hole. I was three feet down when she came out
“What the hell are you doing? I meant when I died, are you a complete idiot?”
“Nope” I replied, “just a wishful thinker” and that’s when the fight started...

Geek pickup lines

Geek Pick-up lines

10. You're even prettier than the girl on my screensaver.
9. My Mom will love you.
8. Wanna use my wifi connection?
7. Yeah I'm a producer. I've got my own youtube channel
6. Can I get a picture with you for myspace?
5. Will you be my Facebook friend?
4. If you give me your cell phone number, I'll make your blackberry vibrate.
3. You know, I have 3G.
2. Hey baby, wanna follow my tweets?

and the number one geek pickup line.....

You're so hot you make my Iphone want to explode in my pants.

iphone blues

Sung to the song smugglers blues by Glenn Frey. In case you don’t know the song... http://www.mtv.com/videos/glenn-frey/256466/smugglers-blues.jhtml


There's trouble on the LAN tonight, I can feel it in my bones
I had a premonition that he should not swap his phone
I knew iphones were deadly but I didn’t think they’d kill
his 3gs exploded and the blood began to spill
So baby, here's your ticket, and the suitcase in your hand
Here's another sim card, now do it just the way we planned
block google voice in twenty countries, Jobs’ll pay you twenty grand
I'm sorry it went down like this, but someone had to lose
It's the nature of the business, it's the iphone blues

Blackberry and the treo, the envy and the bold
The coverage and the deadzones, and the things that make you cold
Don’t matter about the appstore, cost or where you be
You’ve got to get an iphone if you are an EVP
There's lots of shady characters and lots of dirty deals
Every name's an alias in case somebody squeals
It's the lure of itunes music, it's got a very strong appeal
Perhaps you'd understand it better listening to my songs
It's the ultimate enticement, it's the iphone blues

You see it in the headlines, you hear it every day
They say google will top it, but it doesn't go away
They screw you with their contract and sell it in their stores
They roll them out as cellular and man it's here to stay
It's propping up the governments in China and here too
You ask any wireless, man, they'll say there's nothing we can do
From the office of verizon right down to me and you
Me and you
It's a losing proposition, but one you can't refuse
It's the politics of wireless, it's the iphone blues

It's a long way to the top if you're working in IT

I have way too long of a ride to work, but luckily I have Siruis radio to make the trip better. It rocks and keeps me from having to listen to a DJ in the morning ramble on about stuff I don't care about. Really if I wanted that I'd listen to myself talk.

This morning though I had on "The Boneyard" a pretty kick ass hard rock station. They were rcanking some old ACDC song called "It's a long way to the top" and it got me thinking about how hard it is working in IT. Of course this prompted me to sing along with my own words. If you are a fan of the song you should be able to hear it in your head as you read the new lyrics. If not surf on over to itunes or something and listen to it.

Backing up the server
writing it to tape
gotta write protect it
make sure that it’s safe
Friggin late
seventh day
gotta go home
get some sleep
Gettin' paged
Gettin' called
I tell you folks
It's harder than it looks

It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT
It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT
If you think it's easy doin' ugrades man
Try doin the whole frigging LAN
It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT

Stupid virus
Make you wanna cry
trashing all your data
Know the reason why
no updates
missing certs
Gettin' kicked off
of the LAN
Gettin' pissed
getting slammed
That's how it goes
working for the man

It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT
It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT
If you wanna run MAC and PC’s
Look out it's rough and mean
It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT

Another week gone

Well here we are at the end of another week and what a long week this seems to have been. I know many of you are going to the bar to celebrate and of course you shouldn't dink and drive. You also should know when to stop drinking so here are a few tips to help you. Of course you won't remember any of them when you really need them, but at least I can say "I told you so".

You spent 2 hours explaining why the dollar is failing.... to a large oak tree.

You just saw a large fluffy bunny, This can be OK on Easter Sunday.

Even the tequila worm won’t look you in the eyes

You look in the mirror and you aren’t in it. You could be a vampire but it’s unlikely. You should avoid garlic anyway to play it safe.

The last thing you remember is doing body shots in the bar and now you’re in a storefront in Amsterdam wearing nothing but a straightjacket and a for sale sign

You vaguely recall going to the strip club, but have no idea why they just sent you a paycheck.

You woke up on the beach... in northern canada, even worse you are surrounded by empty Molson lite cans

You remember jumping in a swimming pool, but somehow you now realize your foot is stuck in the toilet

Your friend just called asking if that's you in the youtube video that just went viral