TIps for the TSA

1. Need to be clearer on what you mean. When the ticket counter said “They will check your bag at security” I sort of thought they meant my luggage
2. I think it’s not so much them doing the pat down as much as the “hotness” of the agent doing it. Frankly if Eva Longoria did the checks, I’d fly every day, twice….
3. It would help if they would stop posting videos of people being scanned on youtube. Or if you do just call it porn like everyone else does.
4. Maybe they could hire the out of work hookers and porn stars, at least then we could get a happy ending when we are done.
5. Getting felt up with the back of the hand really isn’t any better, in fact it’s worse, just do it right and call it what it is.
6. Throwing in dinner wouldn’t hurt
7. Maybe we’d believe it was for security if you occasionally caught someone from the press smuggling shit on the plane as a test.
8. Stop hiring sex offenders. OK I know you haven’t gotten caught with this yet, but you know it’s going to happen. Just throwing it out there now.