Child raising tips....

Many people have suggested that since I don't have children, I may not be the best one to give advice on raising them. Now there is some logic to that, but I point out to obvious flaws.

1. While I am not aware of any children, the reality is there could be little me's running around that I am unaware of.

And
2. I was once a child myself and am still very immature....

So there.

That said here are the top nine. I'm sure there is another one, but it's Friday afternoon and it's been a long week....

9. Don’t be afraid to medicate your kids if they won't settle down, I mean why else would they have "Children's Benadryl"?

8. You can't put them in a small dog crate. Use a big one

7. Teach them the value of a dollar. That way they are more likely to stop spending yours and more likely to pick up that quarter

6. If you have them in sports and don't keep score they will learn math. Kids always keep score. Adults are the ones that hate to lose

5. Sharing is one of those must learn early lessons, otherwise you will always have to pay for your halloween candy

4. Children should have chores to earn their allowance not for any real lesson but they are the cheapest legal labor you will find

3. If you teach them they can do anything too soon they will quickly figure out they can outsmart you

2. Silence is your friend. Ask if they want to admit and then wait. They'll sing like a rabid parakeet

But the number one tip is
Teaching your child how to swim by throwing them off the dock and into the water can backfire, especially if you don't look for cops first.