New years resolutions

Yeah I know it's February and most people make their resolution on 1/1 instead of waiting a month, maybe not procrastinating should be my 2011 resolution. It's not.

No I've been watching the History channel lately and while I think it's at best a joke that they call some of this crap documentary and pretend that there is some semblance of journalism or science in it, it did get me thinking. Thinking "Where's that damn remote" but still thinking.

The show the drives me nuts the most is the "ancient alien" crap. The premise is that the pyramids were made by these cool aliens apparently here to help us, though I think they were just on a bender and messing with us. Apparently since no one can figure out how to stack rocks the same way that aliens must be behind them all.

Then they explain how since on cave walls sometimes they have circles, "That clearly means that they saw UFO's" Really, that was a quote. Clearly?? What a jack ass. I mean maybe it was a patent app for the wheel. Maybe the guy just liked circles, but no "Clearly a UFO". Idiots...

Anyway when they were showing that cave picture I noticed that many times the people in the drawing had their arms straight out, much like the zombies in a Scooby Doo cartoon, so I think that based on this and the fact that the Mayans were too lazy to finish he calendar past 2012 that the world will end next year because of a zombie attack. Yeah that's the other show, the world will end in 2012 because the calendar ran out. Uhm anyone remember y2k? Maybe all the Mayans figured "Screw it, we won't be around in 2012 let someone else make the next damn calendar".

So my resolution for 2011 is to prepare for the zombie attack. A few items I have thought about are.

1. Learn to hotwire a car. It sure would piss me off to be surrounded by a gang of undead and not be able to find the keys....
2. Get some good weapons. Swords, machetes and a slingshot sound good and don't need ammo.
3. Find a good place to hide. I had thought an island would be safe but someone mentioned zombies can walk on the seabed since they don't drown. Hmmmm. Need to put some more thought in this one.
4. Learn how to grow my own food, and preserve it.
5. Learn how to make biodiesel out of corn. I can't imagine with everyone dead there will be that much french fry oil left kicking around.
6. I probably should take a first aid kit and find a medical book. It would suck to survive all the zombies only to die from an infection or something.
7. I need to learn how to make medicine, or find some indian dude that can point me to the plants that won't kill me.
8. Go somewhere warm. I'm thinking the oil guy won't be delivering once the zombies attack.
9. Learn how to blow shit up. Preferably not mine, but being able to rig up some sives to fry some undead would be a good skill to have.
10. Come up with a tenth one since a top ten list is way cooler than a top nine one....


If anyone has any other ideas please let me know. Clock's ticking dude....