The top ten ways to tell if your Halloween weekend is going to come back and haunt you

The top ten ways to tell if your Halloween weekend is going to come back and haunt you.

10. You woke up in a pentagram surrounded by dead chickens and smell brimstsone.
9. You find yourself in the Arizona desert with a chewed arm handcuffed to you.
8. You realize you are in an alley surrounded by bad guys with knives and you are wearing a cape and a pair of tights.
7. When you wake up you have a Ninja sword in your hand and what looks like a scene from “Kill Bill” in your living room
6. The last thing you remember was doing shots with a Brazilian swimsuit model on Thursday. Now it’s Wednesday, you are in a hotel room in Costa Rica and you are missing a kidney
5. You come to in jail talking to some crazy guy. It takes you 25 minutes to realize that’s a mirror.
4. You have to post a picture of a roadsign on facebook asking if anyone knows where this is. Or even what language it is.
3. You wake up in Vegas next to stripper called Trixie. When you ask her last name she smiles and says “You tell me”
2. You started doing tequila shots in Rhode Island, now you’re hanging from a hook in an Amsterdam show window wearing a straight jacket, ball gag and a sign that says “For Rent” hanging from your testicles
But the number one way to tell if your Halloween weekend is going to come back and haunt you
You wake up next to Capri Anderson and you’re wearing Charlie Sheen’s watch.