It's a long way to the top if you're working in IT

I have way too long of a ride to work, but luckily I have Siruis radio to make the trip better. It rocks and keeps me from having to listen to a DJ in the morning ramble on about stuff I don't care about. Really if I wanted that I'd listen to myself talk.

This morning though I had on "The Boneyard" a pretty kick ass hard rock station. They were rcanking some old ACDC song called "It's a long way to the top" and it got me thinking about how hard it is working in IT. Of course this prompted me to sing along with my own words. If you are a fan of the song you should be able to hear it in your head as you read the new lyrics. If not surf on over to itunes or something and listen to it.

Backing up the server
writing it to tape
gotta write protect it
make sure that it’s safe
Friggin late
seventh day
gotta go home
get some sleep
Gettin' paged
Gettin' called
I tell you folks
It's harder than it looks

It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT
It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT
If you think it's easy doin' ugrades man
Try doin the whole frigging LAN
It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT

Stupid virus
Make you wanna cry
trashing all your data
Know the reason why
no updates
missing certs
Gettin' kicked off
of the LAN
Gettin' pissed
getting slammed
That's how it goes
working for the man

It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT
It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT
If you wanna run MAC and PC’s
Look out it's rough and mean
It's a long way to the top
If you’re working in IT

Another week gone

Well here we are at the end of another week and what a long week this seems to have been. I know many of you are going to the bar to celebrate and of course you shouldn't dink and drive. You also should know when to stop drinking so here are a few tips to help you. Of course you won't remember any of them when you really need them, but at least I can say "I told you so".

You spent 2 hours explaining why the dollar is failing.... to a large oak tree.

You just saw a large fluffy bunny, This can be OK on Easter Sunday.

Even the tequila worm won’t look you in the eyes

You look in the mirror and you aren’t in it. You could be a vampire but it’s unlikely. You should avoid garlic anyway to play it safe.

The last thing you remember is doing body shots in the bar and now you’re in a storefront in Amsterdam wearing nothing but a straightjacket and a for sale sign

You vaguely recall going to the strip club, but have no idea why they just sent you a paycheck.

You woke up on the beach... in northern canada, even worse you are surrounded by empty Molson lite cans

You remember jumping in a swimming pool, but somehow you now realize your foot is stuck in the toilet

Your friend just called asking if that's you in the youtube video that just went viral

Ten things you don't want to hear at the beach

Well it's Friday and going to be wocked frigging hot, as we say in Maine when it's above 70. So I know some of you will be going to the beach.

If you are like me, there are some thing you just don't want to hear, so here is the top ten things you just don't want to hear at the beach

10. You’re stepping on my lunch.
9. Is that your girlfriend making out with the lifeguard?
8. Hey is that Casselberry…. In a speedo? Yeah you definitely don’t want that……
7. Wow you just missed Pamela Anderson doing a photo shoot.
6. Could you move a little to the left? Then you can block the sun for everyone on the beach.
5. If I rub your tummy can I make a wish? Oh sorry I thought you were Buddha
4. Shark
3. Even worse “Whale…”
2. Your hair is on fire

And the number one thing you don’t want to hear

“Nice ass….. and a half”

Enjoy the weekend…

I know we are pretty well through ice cream season but since it's been a sort of slow season and many of you aren't prepared for it yet. In order to help prepare for it I created this handy tip list for you to follow.

Ten tips for ice cream season

10. Start building your tolerance now
9. Learn ice cream headache first aid
8. Find your stretchy pants now.
7. Frappes and shakes do not count against diets, they are drinks not deserts
6. It’s Ok to mix toppings, just make sure to keep the ice cream to topping ratio correct.
5. Coffee ice cream can be substituted for regular coffee for a morning pick me up
4. Unlike alcohol, mixing hard and soft ice cream won’t give you a hangover
3. Ice cream with fruit in it counts as fruit
2. Ice cream with vegetables is just gross, avoid it

And the number 1 tip for ice cream season

No matter what anyone says soy ice cream is not ice cream.

Fat people

There are a lot of fat people. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with fat people, unless of course you get stuck between two of them on a long flight or something. It has sort of become an epidemic in the US anyway.

I was going to write a diet and nutrition book later but decided I better do it quick. I mean if greenhouse gases start ruining the crops the last thing I want is a bunch of fatties fighting over the last few ears of corn. Also with food crops now being turned into gas, that just makes it worse.

So I will be publishing "The Casselberry Diet' shortly. This book, based on extensive research (well it seemed extensive anyway) done by the East Lebanon Maine University, shows how to get on the "Casselberry Diet" and stay on it. It truly will be the easiest diet to stay on.

Here is what some famous people would say if I asked them, and could afford to hire them as sponsors"

Famous actor "It helps as much for someone trying to lose 5 pounds as someone trying to lose 500”

Famous actress “I’ve never been able to stay on a diet like the Casselberry diet.”

Some random cook critic that you never heard of "Rich Casselberry does it again"

Stay tuned for details as they become available.

Doing my part for the economy and environment

My Hyundai was acting weird and I figured it was a good time to trade it and get something else. I ended up with the VW Jetta TDI that gets 40+mpg. In fact my average combined MPG is 44.9

Being my usual (feel free to use your own adjective…) self I decided to share the reasons I got this vehicle…

13. It has a kick ass six disc cd changer with 10 speakers and over 400 watts of power.
12. What? I can’t hear you
11. It’s my way of helping the economy. You're welcome.
10. I’m a big fan of Kermit the frog and want to be green too
9. Being able to open and close all the windows with a turn of the key is pretty cool
8. I feel like a trucker getting diesel
7. Sometime you have to know your fuel mileage right…. now
6. It has a cool flippy switchblade action key.
5. It has an iphone adapter, so now I have an excuse to get one of those too.
4. Heated seats seemed like an easier way than the gym to get that hot ass I wanted
3. It came with a hat
2. They have free coffee and donuts when you are in for service

But the main reason I bought this was
I wanted to know what it was like to trade a car instead of totaling it

First post and birthday thoughts

I like to think I've got something to share that may make your day a little brighter, you a little smarter, or frankly me a little richer. :) I mean I get all these ads telling me how I can make millions writing blog posts, and while I don't believe that any more than I believe Enzyte will work, this is a good place to vent.

Also it's a good place to test out material for my book, that I hope to publish (or better yet find a publisher for). The book is called "Turkeys don't have pink feathers" and is a collection of short, hopefully funny, stories of things that have happened to me over the years. You can get "nopinkturkeys" stuff at my cafepress site (http://www.cafepress.com/nopinkturkeys)

Well I just turned 40 a little while ago and on the 90 minute ride to work decided I would share some tips with my co-workers who were also having birthdays. So the following is a list of the top ten things to remember on your birthday.

10. Before asking where your glasses are, check your face, then your hands, then your pocket. If you don't have glasses, don't worry, either your time is coming or you are so old you forgot you can't see without them and they are already on your face.

9. Be careful what you wish for, someone may over hear you and think you are a freak.

8. Don't pee in the wind, or on a spark plug, electric fence or any other electrical device. Also do not pee on the neighbor's cat, especially if he can see you and is a cop, with a temper.... and a gun.

7. If one of your gifts is a can of peanuts, get someone else to open them. Something is sure to jump out of it and give you a heart attack.

6. It's OK to talk to yourself.... No it's not... yes it is....no.....we talked about this on the ride in, now shut up.... sorry

5. A bird in the hand.... probably will poop, put it back, quickly.

4. If you can't laugh at yourself, don't worry everyone else will laugh for you.

3. Before flushing the toilet, always pull up your pants. The last thing you want when a river of sewerage is coming at you is to have to try and run with your pants around your ankles. This applies everyday, not just birthdays.

2. When blowing out the candles on your cake take care. No one will want the piece with your teeth sticking out of it.

and the number one thing to remember on your birthday....

I forgot. Hey I'm old too.